Picture This

While opening a container of organic half-and-half (hey, I said I was a Whole Foods Market snob) this morning, my eye caught something interesting on the side of the container: "Grass-Fed Half-and-Half." Now, one could argue the accuracy of this description, but I was taken with the mental image of a grassy hillside, probably somewhere in Vermont, where a herd of pint containers grazes contently..."

Two totally unrelated items:

- As a follow up to the pedophilia priests post, the Philadelphia Inquirer noted yesterday in its editorial page that there is no statute of limitations on unpaid parking tickets -- as the City of Philadelphia is aggressively pursuing decades-old violations -- but that there is a statute of limitations on the crimes outlined in the grand jury report. Say, Father, how about next time you perform an act of God on a child, make sure you feed the meter first...

- Phillies playoff and World Series tickets available, cheap. Inquire within. A couple of cardinal (not St. Louis) rules of baseball for playoff contenders:

(1) Good teams don't come up small in big games.
(2) Good teams simply MUST feast on shitty teams in September, if they want to play in October.

Tonight is the last home game of the year, Fan Appreciation Night. I suspect the fans will not feel appreciative or appreciated. I entertained thoughts of going down, mostly to participate in adverse crowd reaction, but there are so many things that are a better use of my time, such as watching grass grow, reading to the dog, or posting to this blog...

Third baseman David Bell will most likely not make it to tonight's game, as he will be running to catch a parked taxi and will miss it by 30 feet.