Pigalicious

I may be vilified here for dissing a revered Philadelphia icon -- no, not the Liberty Bell, Ben Franklin, the Mummers, or the dudes who threw snowballs at Santa during an Eagles game -- but it's a statement that has to be made. I refer, of course, to the venerable Tastykake.

As if we weren't already fat enough, the news item below ought to make us snort and squeal with fat-and-sugar-fueled glee:

(from the Philadelphia Inquirer, 2/16/06)

Tasty Baking Co. is introducing beefed up versions of its famed cakes, complete with more icing and more calories.

Vincent Melchiorre, the company's chief marketing officer, said the new products are in response to Tastykake fans saying in focus groups "'we want more.'"

The fatter versions of Butterscotch Krimpets will have twice as much icing and 90 more calories; Peanut Butter Kandy Kakes will have twice as much peanut butter and 70 more calories. The new products are the first in line called Doublicious.

No truth to the rumor that the ad campaign will feature the tag line You want more? Well, you'll now need a bigger SUV to take you to the Wawa, you fat, lazy bastards!