One, part two

And while we're on the topic of assholes, indulge me my annual New Year's rant: Let's face it, folks. A calendar year is merely a device to help us measure time. (My actuarial slip is showing.) When the calendar changes from December 31 to January 1, it's not as if you have a whole new lease on life -- unless your calendar-year term in prison ends then, I suppose -- nor is the changing of the date a cause for great celebration. I've always felt New Year's Eve was The Most Ridiculous Excuse For A Holiday Ever, drawing amateur drunks everywhere out of the woodwork. (Perhaps I would feel differently if I had ever had sex at midnight with a stranger just-met at a NYE party, but I digress.) Party if you want to, but when you wake up, the fact that the calendar says 2006 doesn't mean it's a whole new wealth of opportunities, or that you'll be smarter/thinner/richer/less co-dependent/whatever. To sum it up: if you go to bed on December 31 an asshole, you WILL wake up on January 1 an asshole. No way around it.

Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Solstice are upon us, and I don't feel the need to add to the millions of voices commenting, save to say (previous paragraph notwithstanding) that I wish for peace, love, and understanding, and God's blessings on everyone. No exceptions.